Urahara doesn't know he's a father
by DearCat1
Summary: The rest of the world really does.


The Urahara-Shoten is no longer a quiet place. Not that it had been particularly silent to begin with, what with Urahara's experiments that sometimes go wrong creating spectacular explosions. Tessai wields the fire extinguisher like a pro, it's a level of competence that Kisuke's amazed by.

Sometimes the explosions where the desired end result to begin with. Kisuke thinks they're beautiful. And good stress relief. It just happens to be that it's less quiet than before, full of noise and clutter and people. For some reason, Urahara doesn't think much about the change, it's just something that happened so he takes it in stride.

So when he wakes up one day after a science binge, very much hungry and slightly disoriented and finds his little shop full of teenagers goofing around, Kisuke doesn't react. All he does is blink for a second so that he can process what is going on and then he moves on to the kitchen so that he can eat something. Anything, and then it's back to work.

Except he's herded to the table and a cup of tea finds its way to his hand. Kisuke doesn't even blink in surprise because this is normal, this is routine. Kisuke doesn't think much of that either, not that he's capable of much thought at the moment. His brain is still in the rebooting process.

He goes right to his office after that so that he can finish his paperwork because he needs to get the inventory updated, one of the kids needs new training equipment so that needs to be added into the budget. He's pretty sure Tatsuki and Orihime need help with their college application, so Kisuke needs to make sure he's got time for that. Ichigo and Chad need some tutoring on physics so that's important too and Uryuu has a fashion show Kisuke plans on showing up for moral support.

It takes most of the day to complete and Kisuke only leaves it behind because the kids show up at his office demanding that he shows up for dinner. So Kisuke goes. It's Ichigo's turn to cook which means the food is great. Kisuke gets an out of kitchen duty by virtue of being terrible at it. None of the kids had said as much, of course, they just quietly stopped adding him on that side of the chore board.

The realization comes when Kisuke is in a meeting in Soul Society. There Kisuke is, being given the opportunity to use Soul Society's resources to pursue some experiments Kisuke has been dying to do for a while now. He just hasn't had the change. The opportunity is once in a lifetime and Kisuke can tell that they believe he will take it, no second thoughts. And maybe he would have, before… But not anymore.

"I'm afraid I must decline, Captain Commander."- There's a hush that answers Kisuke's declaration. The part of Kisuke that is a showman feels very smug about it. It takes Byakuya until the shopkeeper's almost out the door to recover enough to answer.- "Urahara-san, I'm sure your kids will be alright without you for a month?"- The implication behind the question almost angers Kisuke. As it is, his mind has short-circuited at the "your kids" part.

Kisuke has no kids, thank you very much. He has been very careful in every sexual encounter simply because he wants to make very sure that he will have no kids. Kisuke is aware that he's not father material. So the shop owner opens his mouth to tell the captain just that. He doesn't get the opportunity to, though, because the door he's standing next to opens to reveal the Karakura gang.

Ichigo is beaming, not that many will notice. How the kid manages to beam while still scowling, Kisuke will never know. Kisuke's distracted by the combination of guilt and sheepishness showing up on Tatsuki's face. There's a mix of trepidation and amusement in his chest because what could they have possibly done now? He just left them a couple of hours ago, what type of trouble did they find themselves in so little time?

And then Ichigo is thrusting two sheets at him, looking expectant. So Kisuke looks them over with bemusement because this kids just barged in on a captain's meeting to show their latest exam results to Kisuke. It's funny in an endearing sort of way. From the corner of his eyes, he catches Soifon looking dangerously close to bursting a vessel. Kisuke smiles.

The boys did better than Kisuke expected them to do, too. Kisuke should stop being surprised by that. Ichigo is always so surprising, so inclined to the unexpected, that the rest of the gang seem normal in comparison. They're not, however. Kisuke is always so delighted when he's reminded of it.

"Congratulations, Kurosaki-kun, Ishida-kun."- Kisuke tells them and doesn't bother to try hiding the fondness he feels when both of their chests swell with pride. They did work hard for this. Still, Kisuke has not forgotten Tatsuki's shifty look. So he turns to her and the way she tries to look innocent only makes him more suspicious. What have they gotten involved in this time? Trouble magnets, the lot of them.

He begins to ask his question only to be interrupted by Orihime, she's hanging on his arm, smile sweet and innocent as she pulls him to the door, talking without even breathing about how they should totally celebrate the boy's success, shouldn't they? And there's this little restaurant just outside Soul Society that would be perfect, don't you think so, Urahara-san?

Chad moves smoothly to cover Tatsuki's retreat, Uryuu and Ichigo start another fight/banter loud enough to be very distracting. Kisuke lets it all play out. Little manipulative brats, Kisuke's so proud.

They're almost all the way through the door when the captain of the seven speaks up: "Maybe your kids could wait outside while we finish this? It's not going to take much longer."- The first reaction Kisuke has is amusement because, really? Had they learned nothing? If the Karakura gang has made it their mission to leave the place with Kisuke, there's really nothing that can stop them.

The second reaction is absolute shock because: what? His kids? Since when? The only reason Kisuke doesn't whirl around to demand answers is that Orihime is still holding onto his arm. These are not his kids, Urahara is not their parent. He's Ichigo's teacher or something like that and the rest are Ichigo's friends. Of course, in theme with the day, he doesn't get to voice his objections.

Soifon finally loses all patience and in typical fashion, she snaps at Kisuke.- "Urahara! Show some respect! This meeting is not over!"- The shopkeeper has his fan out in an instant, ready to deflect and maybe annoy the girl somewhat. Except the temperature of the room has dropped and the blond finds himself puzzlingly behind a barrier of teenagers.

That's… Quite surprising, actually. Kisuke's perfectly capable of taking care of himself. Ichigo's voice is sharp when he reminds Soifon that "you don't command him!". Tatsuki's ranting about arrogant bastards and Uryuu's commenting on how barbaric shinigami are. Chad has planted himself in front of Urahara, blocking Soifon's view of him. Orihime's still hanging onto his arm but when Kisuke looks at her, she looks angry and determined, hand hovering over her hair-clips.

And Urahara's mind comes back to two days ago when the same girl had curled on his side while he was on the lab. He remembers the quiet whispers of doubt and fear and determination. Remembers leaving his research for later so he could offer comfort, nowhere near as uncomfortable and awkward as he had been at the beginning because he knows how to do this now. He has practice.

With a start he realizes that he knows that Tatsuki sings along to whatever song she has on, using her phone as a pretend microphone, and dancing around when she's happy. He knows that Ichigo shows up wherever Urahara is when he's sad, only to sit somewhere in the vicinity to read without a word to remind himself that he's not alone. He knows how in the really dark days, Ichigo likes to lean into Kisuke's side and cling.

He remembers all those clothes and blankets that he has, all with quincy crosses somewhere, that Uryuu pretends he has nothing to do with but Urahara uses often if only because the look of happiness mixed with pleased embarrassment on Uryuu's face makes it all worth it. He remembers Tatsuki's trophies now displayed in his living room and Chad's overtures into photography in his lab.

He remembers the chore chart hanging on a wall in the kitchen, the guest rooms that at some point became the kid's rooms. Little by little each piece falls into place and all Kisuke can think is: oh… oh.

Because apparently, he has kids, he just hadn't noticed. The knowing look Shinji's sending him confirms that Kisuke's the last one to notice. How embarrassing.

It says something about Urahara that he only pauses for a second to blink at the scene and then accepts it as reality. Maybe later, in some sleepless night, he'll panic. Maybe then he'll question himself, question if this is really the right decision or he'll angst about the possible ways he'll fuck this up. But for the moment, Kisuke takes a look at his kids, strong, naive and so very loyal and feels warm fill his chest.


End file.
